I typically try to avoid shorter stories. Very rarely do I ever have much to really say about a story that fits on one page. However, this does lead to an interesting point of discussion, what are the benefits to a shorter story?
Going a bit off-topic, as I also do video reviews of animated works, I write a lot of scripts myself. I try to keep my scripts short, mostly because I want to make my point and move on. However, I see merit in much longer scripts, allowing other critics to analyze and further explain there thoughts on why something works or doesn't.
A story can be similar, a shorter story gets the important things across, where as a larger story can get the details all down. Both have their merits and their issues. A longer story can risk losing the reader's interest and boring the reader into stopping, where a shorter story can risk the reader missing most of it and it's possible meaning.
A lot of this comes back to the "Point of Interest" I keep bringing up. This PoI is the reason readers stick to a longer story or come back to a shorter story.
I think this is a fascinating creepypasta because, to me anyway, there is no singular point of interest. While the title caught my eye, I can't really narrow down one point of interest for me.
This would be a bad thing in a longer story, however, as this story is only three paragraphs long, this actually works in the pastas favour.
I do have to say though, each separate paragraph is interesting on their own. The first one gives us the narrative, the narrator likes lilies, but not just any lily, the most beautiful of lilies. The way the words are written, you can tell that something isn't right with the narrator.
Then there is talk of the lilies screaming and bleeding and that is when you have to wonder, is this story really about flowers?
I also do have to compliment the writing, each paragraph is of a fair size to get the ideas across. No paragraph exceeds four lines, but none are shorter than three either so, it's fine. There's also a word I've never heard before in here, I like when writers do that, even if it may come off as a bit pretentious. Anyway, the word is "recherché", I wonder what it means...
Rare, exotic or obscure...
Oh well, I thought this was a pretty good story. It's pretty short, but I don't think that's such a deal breaker, everything else is pretty good.
I give a 7/10 on my recommendation scale.
And of course, if you wish to read the story, you can do so here: <Link>
And if you missed it, my previous full review was on Windows
Or you can read my classic review of The
So, if you haven't read my original review, I wouldn't recommend it, I really don't like the old review. However, if you really want to read it: demo reel lost episode creepypasta review
So, is this still a good creepypas-no. No it is not.
I find it kind of amusing how abruptly the pasta begins. It's has no build up, no introduction to the narrator, all it is, is just "This is what Demo Reel was, not many people liked it." The narrator doesn't even say anything about their own thoughts on the series or Nostalgia Critic in general. For all I know, Misanthro Pony could be writing this pasta, except he might have made it entertaining.
Then there is a toss out line that just separates the "introduction" from the actual pasta. It is literally a two-word sentence that does only that purpose.
The pasta itself is bland and uninteresting. Legit, I wasn't even skimming the paragraphs half-way through the damn thing. It doesn't even do much with the scenario it has, there is a demon in the equipment, that is it. There is nothing about the scenario that makes this story interesting. The only point of interest in this pasta is the fact that it is a creepypasta based on an internet series, which is not an appeal that lasts.
Sorry for the brief review this week, I've not been feeling well emotionally. I am also working on a new video review, so I want to try and get that done before July.
Have a good week everyone.
I think I should first discuss why I'm doing this, and unlike something like #Changethechannel or #ToonGate which I delegated to a small part of different posts. While I am not a big name, or even a known name in the creepypasta community, as someone who reviews creepypasta, I feel as though I should say something on this matter.
For those of you who aren't aware, some big names in the CP Community like MrCreepypasta and Vincent Vena Corva have had a few allegations thrown their way, ranging from small things like general incompetance, to large things like crowdfunding fraud and sexual harassment. Needless to say, if this is true, than this is really horrible.
An entire document was compiled by Creepypasta author Slimebeast and if you want to look at it yourself: docs.google.com/document/d/1P5…
As for my thoughts on the matter, I think they mirror my thoughts for #Changethechannel and #ToonGate as well. There needs to be a place for open communications, and the accused should, if these allegations are true, earn some for of punishment.
If the accused really are guilty and the allegations are true, I hope that the situation can be resolved without more drama.
I'm gonna leave you with a couple videos about the situation, thank you for your time.
[link] - ("CreepyLeaks prelude..." by Slimebeast)
[link] - ("CreepyLeaks - The accusations of MrCreepyPasta And Why We Shouldn't Ignore Them" by QueenCreeps)
You know, the more I think about it, the more this story brings me back to my childhood, and the horrific nightmare I've always had. We've all had "The Monster" as a kid, the reason we dreaded going to bed. I actually had two monsters, one was a tarantula in my blanket (Don't ask), and the other I called "Motherhook" it was a black skeletal being surrounded in a red aura that would appear anywhere. It appeared in pictures, my GameBoy, the floor, even in my god damn lightswitch. That was my recurring nightmare and the big reason I hated going to bed as a child.
So what does any of this have to do with the creepypasta? Well, the story is about someone reliving their childhood nightmare as an adult. Immediately, an interesting concept. Adults and children think about and react to things differently. So it's interesting to see what kind of reactions a grown up would have to seeing a nightmare that they never really conquered.
However, what kind of ruins the creepypasta is that, the writer seems to make it more than a nightmare. At the beginning of the story the narrator says he was diagnosed with "Hypnogogia", which is an actual thing from my research, but then again I do barest of bare bones research so take that for what it's worth. Towards the end of the story, the creature is doing things like, lifting the window and removing boards from the windows. I might be a bit more forgiving to the absence of vague if the creature was described differently.
I'm going to be honest, I hate the description of the creature in this one. To me, it checks off the generic boxes of creepypasta spook; Pale skin? Check! Blank eyes? Check! Weird Non human features? Check! Bony Complexion? Check!
The monster design is pretty generic for a creepypasta. It's like you took Slenderman, Eyeless Jack and The Rake, and mashed them together. The description of the eyes is what gets to me though.
"its eyes just two gaping holes filled with an endless darkness."
That's just stupid.
On top of that something about the writing just doesn't do it for me, I don't know, maybe it's just that this may be the writers first story, but the writing seems odd to me. Maybe that's just me I dunno.
Honestly though, I do kinda like the story it tells, I do wish it to be a bit more on the vague side though. I like a story that can leave the reader guessing. I also wish that the monster had a more interesting description, or maybe for it to be left more in the shadows. However, I should focus on what is there instead of what isn't, and what is there is pretty alright, not great, but not terrible.
I kinda want to see a creepypasta with this kind of similar concept again, an adult reliving or facing a childhood nightmare they never truly got over. It's a good sounding concept, I'd like to see others write something amazing with it.
As for this, I think it's worth a read or two, so I give it a 6/10. Window, shut!
Yeah, last week was not fun for me, but I'm back, feeling better and as a whole, doing alright for myself. Especially since my last review of Dirtgirlworld
Also, if you're new here, feel free to read my classic review of Pale Luna
And if you want to read the original pasta, link is right here: <Link>
I think it's going to obvious to say that, there isn't going to be a new Creepypasta Review this week. I'm gonna say it now though, this is all because of personal issues that I've been dealing with.
I think a good place to start is with the small stuff, the stuff that can, and has, blown over but still helped add up. So, let's talk about #changethechannel and why it has been affecting me, despite me never even having spoken to anyone on Channel Awesome. I, much like many others, was inspired to start reviews after watching the Nostalgia Critic, but it goes a bit deeper than that.
When I was younger, I was usually yelled at for things that, I thought were beyond my control, things have changed now, but for the longest time I always felt as though, it was wrong to be mad and wrong to make mistakes. Of course, I don't think this now, and a lot of that was because of the Nostalgia Critic. Those videos taught me that it was okay to be mad, it was okay to fuck up, but it was better to be passionate, especially when you'r mad or mess up. I don't think I'd even be a creator if I wasn't watching Nostalgia Critic back in the day.
I want to state that, I'm not siding with CA or Mike Michaud, I am not mad at the former contributors that have left, quite honestly I'm glad for them. I'm just stating why this controversy has, in a way, brought my spirits down. A lot of who I am as a reviewer, creator and even person was because of the NC, it's not easy to hear things like this.
But that is quite small, especially compared to some of the personal issues I've been dealing with.
I guess the other reason I'm feeling down about CA is because, I am a very emotional person, like more so than most people. While I try not to think in extremes, my emotions usually do come in extremes. While I do have normal reactions to some things, most of the time I get overly-emotional over small things. For example, I'm not just angry, I explode with rage, I'm not just happy, I'm giddy and literally singing. I'm not just upset, I can get full on depressed, and for the most part that has been what I've been dealing with, waves of just not being happy.
While I wouldn't say I'm really depressed, I do have issues with brief bouts of it, which have gone up to and included thoughts of taking my own life.
It's not that I don't have people to confide in, I have many good friends that are willing to lend an ear, I find myself thinking though that I bother them a lot, especially when I talk about my problems. No matter how much they tell me I'm not bothering them, I still feel as though that is all I do. It also doesn't help that I have a pretty low opinion of myself, which leads me to question why I have these people in my life in the first place.
Because of my low opinion of myself, taking better care of myself has become difficult, as many times I don't feel as though I should treat myself better than I am. I've tried to monitor my eating, and I'm currently trying an exercise routine. I hope that one can stay for longer, I can't afford to have doubts when it comes to my health.
That's the overview too, I'm not really going to go into things like the break-up I went through in December, that I'm still kind of going through. Also not going into the things about myself I hate, but that can all be a different post.
I just needed to make a post about my troubles, it has been kind of rough sometimes, but as a whole, I'm still going. Maybe things will get better, I may be grasping at a thread of optimism here, but maybe things will.
Until next week, I am the Entity of Darkness, and I hope you'll forgive me for not having a review up this week.
No I have never seen Dirt Girl World outside of his videos, to be honest, it doesn't look like anything special, just a pre-schooler's cartoon with a different theme. Then again, I spent money on three separate Thomas the Tank Engine VHS Tapes so I doubt I'm in much position to judge.
Speaking of which, why was it a massive trend to make crappy creepypastas out of innocent enough children's shows? For whatever reason, be it Thomas, Max and Ruby, SpongeBob, MLP, Hell if you look on the Wayback machine, you'll find creepypasta for fucking Kirby Right Back at Ya, an anime that was so kid friendly that it makes god damn Hello Kitty look ugly. The trend mostly seems to have died, thank whatever deity you want, but there is always some archive to be aware of.
So yeah, this is a Dirt Girl World creepypasta, and do I even need to say it's bad?
I'll give it this, it's short, but that doesn't excuse being complete and utter crap.
It's your generic lost episode where someone darkify's and edges up something relativity innocent. What else do I have to say? Well, this may be one of the few creepypastas based on pre-school cartoons to feature mutilation! Because the character designs weren't horrifying enough, we now get to have the image of one of them screaming her lungs out while having her hands cut off. Pleasant I know </sarcasm>.
It also features the "I can't turn down the volume or turn off the TV" cliche that I really cannot stand, so that's a point against this pasta.
But you know, I think there is one thing I really don't like about this one. The narrator calls the channel staff. It sounds like a smart move, but this is where the writer would normally reveal that something went wrong, someone was hacking the station, Captain Midnight went berserk (Okay I SERIOUSLY need to stop with these obscure and oddball references), but no, the writer gives us nothing of the sort, making the only purpose of the call to be a vague questioning of the narrator's sanity.
This, this is awful. I can't even lump this with the genericly bad lost episode pastas, this is worse than that Thomas the Tank Engine creepypasta from last year.
Buh... you know, this year has really been becoming negative. I feel that has been reflected in my reviews a little bit. I mean, so far the best creepypasta I reviewed was The Chandelier, which I criticized heavily for it's use of twist ending. I'm not going to take a break, but I'm going to try and find actual good creepypastas to review. I don't want to make this year another 2015, so let's give this crap a swift kick in the ass, and let's move on.
I give this garbage a 1/10. It set a new low standard for bad lost episode creepypasta.
And if, for whatever strange reason, you want to read this trash: web.archive.org/web/2012102108…
Have at 'er!
Or, you can check out my previous review of Run Across the Desert
Or my classic review of Thomas and the Children
Let's talk about dialogue. Dialogue is without a doubt, one of the most important parts in telling a character driven narrative. Dialogue communicates ideas between characters and to the audience, and it is important that the dialogue is clear in who is speaking and what is being communicated. Of course, this is not to say you can't have a story without dialogue, but that's not a discussion around this creepypasta.
The big problem with this creepypasta is that, the majority of the story is told through dialogue, which is fine, that is how stage productions and cinema mostly work, the communication of these ideas through some form of dialogue that moves the story along. The problem with this story is that, it's done poorly.
So, what is the story? I couldn't tell you really, there are these Arab men who were following this woman who was running across the desert and she left a straight line of footprints, then there is this other person being told all this information and he may not be human and... Okay, a general rule of thumb is, when it comes to your main plot, if you need an "I guess" to be placed in there somewhere, you fail!
Now, the writing is generally what makes or breaks a creepypasta for me, and in this case, it really breaks the creepypasta.
Most of the story is told through one of the Arab's perspectives, and for some odd reason, the person's thoughts are spliced in between segments of dialogue. Normally, what a writer does something like this, they do something to convey the idea that this isn't something the character is saying, usually adding in "They thought" at the end or middle of the sentence, or maybe going further and putting the thoughts in a different font or text style. Kinda like what I do when I'm splicing in pieces of other creepypasta into my reviews. However, the writer for this creepypasta made the odd choice of putting asterisks at the start and end of a thought.
Now, I can't speak for everyone here, but when I see a asterisk before a sentence, I tend to think that the character is speaking in a different language, not that the character's thoughts are being directly given to the reader. It created a confusing problem before I realized that these were, most likely, the character's thoughts.
The first couple of paragraphs describing the scene also bother me. They're written as though you would read them like a poem, but when you read them in the paragraph style they're in, the weird word choices and poor punctuation really do stand out more.
So, this was pretty bad. I wouldn't say it's really terrible, but that really is only because I've read worse. On it's own, I don't think it's really great, the writing is poor, the dialogue is bad and the story is a bit confusing. The sad thing is that I kind of like the idea of this creepypasta, exploring ideas of omens to other cultures. I think, if you cut out and rewrote the stuff about "Perhaps they weren't human" and make the thoughts more clear that they're not being said aloud and you'd have a half-way decent creepypasta.
As is though it gets a 3.5/10, not worth it.
But, if you want to read this one, here's the link: www.creepypasta.com/ru…
And if you haven't read it yet, my previous review was on Abandoned Servers
Or you can read my classic review on A Strange Night in the City of Angels
Released at the start of the month, I give you, my review of my least favourite SpongeBob episode!
Creepypasta reviews will return next week.
I'm telling you all of this because, I'm not really an online player. So the idea of abandoned game servers is not an idea I can relate easily to.
But with that said I enjoyed creepypasta that I had zero ways to relate to, so how does this one fare?
About as well as Steam Greenlight... is that a relevant joke to make?
Whatever, this creepypasta sucks, but it actually starts out pretty well. The game the narrator described was not scary, but still odd and not something they can get their mind off.
Then we get to the latter three quaters of the creepypasta, that is probably a low-balled esimate, but it sounds about right.
Have any of you read my original review of Mortal Kombat.EXE? The creepypasta that I said was the worst that I reviewed in 2014? Well, this kind of reminds me of that, in fact, it kind of has similar cliches to that.
I hated Mortal Kombat.EXE because of these stupid cliches, and this creepypasta uses some of the same.
There is the cliche of the game knowing your face without there being any conceivable way for the game or programmer to know your face. This is a stupid cliche because it lacks the most basic of logic. Everything has to run on some form of logic, and in fiction you always have an easy out, but nobody wants to write in demonic magic because although that is logical, it's also really stupid. Here, there is some kind of doppelganger and there is no explanation as to how or why it exists, it just does, again, please reason and logic!
Then you have the cliche of seeing pictures of horrid atrocities you can't get rid of. This cliche has more logic to it than it did in Mortal Kombat.EXE, but even here it has little logic, and little reason to be outside of "OMG SUPAH SCRY!!! PLZ B SCRD!!1!".
Mirrors, because why the hell not, we have entities that can see you from the screen that aren't explained at all so let's have a weakness be not explained, if it is the weakness.
Oh, and there is also a bloody forest... I have had it with creepypasta that rip-off Sonic.EXE! Rule of thumb, if you're creepypasta even makes me think about Sonic.EXE, it's crap on the spot.
It's all a shame though, the writing of this creepypasta is pretty good. It's detailed enough to allow a reader to visualize the settings. Unfortunately, even this comes with an asterix the size of Montreal. A few of the details are described as being like something else, like trees being like Nightmare Before Christmas, this is just kind of lazy, but it's not the worst thing about this pasta.
The stupid cliches are the worst thing about this pasta, and that really does suck because the story and writing are not bad. The story kind of reminds me of Herobrine myths, except done well. With that said, the cliches are annoying and stupid, and they really bring this pasta down. I do not really suggest reading it, but I can't really say it's as bad as something like "Sonic.EXE".
I give a 4/10, it's only somewhat better in quality to Sonic.EXE.
If you have yet to read it, my previous review was on Survival Guide
Or you can read my classic review of Mortal Kombat.EXE although be warned, it is kind of a crap review.
This is because, this really isn't going to be a typical kind of review, this is really an overtly-long comment on this "Creepypasta Survival Guide".
Now, I know there is a "horror movie survival guide", I've never read it, but I assume it's kind of the same thing except with horror movie tropes and references instead of creepypasta cliches and references.
I'm serious, this guide makes references to many, MANY other creepypasta. Typically my rule of thumb is, DO NOT DO THIS! it usually makes you're story look worse because it reminds the reader that they could be reading another, most often better, creepypasta. The thing is that, this gets a pass because it's obviously not trying to say, "Here is this story you know that is obviously fake, and now here is my story", it is what it says it is, a survival guide.
The guide makes reference to creepypastas like, Red with White, those lousy lost-episode pastas with file extensions in the title, BEN Drowned, Smiledog, Dolly Molly, Happy Appy, Rap Rat, Cupcakes, Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, WHO WAS PHONE?, Kuchisake-Onna, Normalpornfornormalpeople, and many others. Seriously, many of these rules made me chuckle because of the reference. The guide even referenced the "WWF: Canceled in your House PPV" creepypasta, I bet some of you didn't even know there was a WWF Creepypasta, it's... kind of crap really.
There are 144 total rules and many of them provide handy tips on how to survive in your next creepypasta experience. For example, the first tow rules are about mirrors, and not just don't break them. Rule 34, is about finding VHS Tapes, Rule 52 warns against buying second hand TVs, Rule 100 disappointing me because it warns against abandoned amusement parks, and I've always wanted to explore one. Rule 104 is a general rule for everything, Rules 108 to 111 are about finding the Holders, Rule 119 is the truth and rule 126 is basically natural instinct, if it bleeds it can die.
Typically, there are only two things one should really do in a situation akin to most creepypastas, run or fight, and I'm personally fond of running. Keep in mind I'm a general pacifist that tends no to carry weapons on me unless required to.
You know what I would love to see, a horror story or creepypasta where the narrator does everything right, and then still gets killed. Nothing is scarier than a killer that can catch and kill the competent, except maybe a government that caters to the stupid, CANADA!
I can say that, I live there.
Survival Guide is not really a creepypasta per say, but overall, it's a fine read. I feel like this is a better list of cliches on the wiki, than the Wiki's actual cliche page. Then again, that page has little actual presentation outside of a picture of a lion face-palming so, points to this page.
While I can't recommend this as a creepypasta, I still recommend checking it out as a wiki page, so in that respect I give a 7/10.
Next time will be a return to the real creepypastas.
Anyway, if you missed my last review it was on The Chandelier
Or you can read my classic review of The Prophecy of Zarah
And if you want to read the original post, you can do so here
With that said, here are ten mistakes I've previously made that I am now going to fess up to. Yes, I did intentionally make that title super long, because why not? I want to have some fun with this.
10. Spelling and Grammatical Mistakes (All of them)
I'm going to get this one out of the way first. It's pretty embarrassing when I'm criticizing a written media, and still making a bunch of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Granted, most of them are minor, but that is another problem, I am an actual writer myself, so I shouldn't BE making these mistakes.
The problem is that I rely on spellcheck a lot, and the problem with spellcheck is that it only detects improper spelling and incorrect grammar, not really when you're using the wrong word or when you placed an apostrophe where one shouldn't be.
The mistakes I make are easy to miss, but once I see them, I can never un-see them. Sometimes it's missing the "r" in "for", typing "is" when I meant "if", or making improper contractions like typing in "let's" as in "Let us" when I should have typed in "lets" as in "allows". Being honest, this is mostly just me being blind to my wording. I do look over each review I make, but because the brain is weird, it doesn't register when I make a mistake unless I really focus on it.
It's embarrassing that I criticize creepypasta so heavily about their spelling and grammar, when I myself have shit spelling and grammar. This is not because I failed English, it's mostly because the mistakes are so small I barely see them until it's too late.
I should also mention that I'm not going to update all of my reviews to get rid of the spelling mistakes, not because I don't want to fix them, but mostly because I don't want to flood my watcher's notifications with over one-hundred journal entry updates when I don't make any other changes.
9. Not mentioning the cult (Sonic.EXE Round 2)
When I did my review of the creepypasta "Sonic.EXE Round 2" I had many complaints about it, but one complaint I had but didn't go into any detail into was the cult.
As far as the cult goes, this is all I mention about it in that review: "In fact, I'm fairly certain that this wants to be a Candle Cove spin-off. I think this because they keep going on about a cult and all the victims and conspiracy. That sounds like something I would read in a spin-off of Candle Cove."
Now, disregarding that I made a direct comparison between "Sonic.EXE Round 2" and "Candle Cove", which considering me, should be enough to get me exiled, I only mention the cult at a small portion of this review.
made a comment about the cult in regards to the creepypasta, which made me realize that I didn't go into the detail I should have. I should have been pissed there even was a cult in this story. In fact, every time a cult is brought up in a creepypasta, I seem to ignore it. I think in this case, because I didn't finish the creepypasta, which is a task I dare any mortal to try without cringing, I figured the cult played a bigger part later in the story, so I held of on really commenting about it as I didn't get to that part.
It may be a bit professional to not criticize a work for something when you don't know how well they do it, but let's be honest, cults in creepypasta are kind of like zombies in visual mediums. They are overdone, mostly unnecessary and pretty much the "kiss of generic" to your story. The only difference is we still have stories to tell with zombies.
8. I do not understand Ouran Highschool Host Club (Honey's Fatal Depression)
In my review of the creepypasta "Honey's Fatal Depression" I make this point:
"Also considering it was just the bunny's ear and arm, it's kind of dumb. Honey is the youngest member of the club so somebody, most likely Haruhi, would have told him that it would be fixed."
Now the point I made was that, in the creepypasta, because the stuffed bunny was just that, a stuffed bunny, it could have been fixed, and at least one of the characters would have assured Honey that it would be fixed.
The point I screwed up with was that I said that Honey was the youngest member of the club, as it turns out, Honey is actually the oldest member. Yeah, this is me holding my hands up an admitting I had no idea about that, and I'd like to thank for pointing that out to me, as well as one more mistake on this list.
I think a part of it comes from me not really liking "Ouran Highschool Host Club", not that it's bad, it's just not my thing, although coming from someone whose first anime they watched from start to finish was "Lucky Star" I don't know how well that explanation will hold water. I've also never read the manga, mostly because only recently have I gotten into graphic novels and manga.
My point still stands though, but I will concede that I made a mistake, and hey I got some anime recommendations out of it, I should check those out when I have the chance.
7. Italic mistake (Fluttershy's Childhood)
I'm separating this one from the other writing mistakes because this one has a different problem.
When I wrote my review of the creepypasta "Fluttershy's Childhood", I made another writing mistake. Whenever I take a line or paragraph from a past review or creepypasta, I usually put in italics. This is because, it's really confusing to see one paragraph that is from another source, and then a paragraph I wrote underneath that in the same writing.
Well, when I uploaded the review, something happened and the text that should've been italic wasn't.
I don't know what happened when I was uploading the review, I think because I wrote the review in Google Docs instead of in the Sta.sh Writer, the copy/paste made a couple errors. I've dealt with errors like the paragraph spacing issues before, and that was my main focus when I was copy/paste-ing the review. I missed the paragraphs because either I was too tired and fed up with using Library computers, or because I was on a time limit, or it could even be that I forgot all about them.
I've thought about fixing it, but at this point I don't really see the necessity, it's also partially for the reason I'm not fixing all the spelling mistakes I've made, I don't feel like updating something unless I really need to.
6. Lack of reviews in 2015
So, I've been reviewing creepypasta since 2014, and in 2014 I reviewed thirty-nine creepypastas. In 2016, the year I reached review one-hundred, I made forty-two total reviews, keep in mind that these counts do not qualify quickies and re-reviews. In 2017 I made thirty-six reviews, not as much from the previous two years, but still a nice amount. in 2015 I released twenty-eight reviews.
Twenty-eight official reviews; that is a pathetic output amount.
This is why my best list of that year had only two honourable mentions, because those were literally all of the ones I thought were legitimately good from that year. In fact, if we take out the honourable mentions, that leaves eight total reviews that did not make either list, and from both lists, there were six mentions total; SIX!
A part of this mistake was my frankly idiotic idea to split up my "Ben Drowned" review into three parts, and that at the time I was posting reviews on Monday, and because I still had school that year I didn't have much spare time.
Honestly though, I'm doing much better with these now that I'm no longer in school, and now have time to read these whenever I please, so I think this was an error worth making in the long-run.
5. Putting "White with Red" on my worst list despite giving it a "7/10"
Yeah, back to 2015 for this one.
On my "Top 10 worst creepypastas I reviewed" from 2015, my number 10 entry was the creepypasta "White with Red", and while I did justify my feelings toward it, it may have still been odd to see a "7/10" creepypasta on my worst list.
I think the best way to explain this one is to explain what my rating system really is. At first, it was a way to measure my feelings towards a particular pasta, however, as time went on it more developed into a recommendation scale.
A "7/10" does mean I recommend the creepypasta, and for the most part, "White with Red" is worth reading. The problem is that I didn't think it had a strong ending, and kind of wasted it's potential to be great, and that's why it made my worst list.
Looking back, I probably could've placed "Childhood Stories" there instead, but I'm satisfied with the list as it is.
4. Apparently it's not a Molestation joke (Friendship is Witchcraft)
On top of not understanding anime, I also don't understand parody/abridged series based on MLP.
When I did my review on the series "Friendship is Witchcraft" I only watched like three or four episodes, and not even fully, and if you're going to say I shouldn't have reviewed it, keep in mind that FiW has been designated the literal worst thing I've ever seen, and considering I've seen "Dorbees", "Madballs: Gross Jokes", "Stewie is Enceint" and a couple videos by Lily Peet, that is some stiff competition.
I made this comment in my review: "Oh yeah, they also make a molestia joke. Rule of thumb, NEVER make jokes about molestation, because that is a HORRIBLE thing to do, and this is coming from someone who enjoys a fair bit of off colour humour, and yet I do not think rape and molestation jokes are funny. It also doesn't work because it's just an easy joke to make, although the fact that they did work off of it was slightly amusing"
Yeah, apparently they do continue on with this joke in a sense. Apparently the joke is that Princess Luna is Princess Molestia. Just typing that sentence made me feel so wrong.
But yeah, technically the joke was not a molestation or rape joke. Really though, the point still stands, don't make those, they're very rarely ever funny and usually they shed a bad light on the person telling them, looking your way Louis C.K.
3. Obscure, confusing and unnecessary references (A handful of reviews)
Yes, I'm counting this, why? Because quite frankly, it's annoying me at this point.
I have a bad habit of referential humour in my reviews, and I use that term loosely because I don't typically try to make my reviews especially humorous. Honestly though, many of these are not really ones I expect readers to get, and even if they do, I doubt they'll find them funny. At most, they'll probably think "Oh, this guy likes Homestar Runner" or "Hey, this guy is a fan of Aurelio Voltaire", and then go on their day.
This one here from my "Thomas and the Children" review is the example that made me consider this a screw-up: "Also it does make you look a bit bad as a parent, I mean I get not looking over the content of the DVD, but only if it’s from a place you trust, nothing is said about where the DVD was bought so, all I can gather is that this was bought from Strong Bad while he was riding a Black Unicorn down the Side of an Erupting Volcano somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. That my friends, is how you really stretch for references…"
Yeah, I make a cute comment about it, but really I have no clue why I kept that bit in, maybe because I thought someone would find it funny? I don't know, I just read it now and think "What the Hell was I thinking?".
There is also my "Pale Luna" review where I make reference to three different text adventure games, at least that one was funny at the time.
I also make reference to video game critic the Wiiviewr a lot, but that is mostly because I take a couple of my cues from him, the year end top ten list that starts with the worst was an idea from him.
2. The entire review (Demo Reel: Lost Episode)
This review sucks, the end.
Okay fine, here is a better explanation for it. The only reason this isn't number one was because this was a really bad review and not a technical or a factual screw up. I have no clue why I wrote it the way I did, but I kind of go off the rail talking about things that aren't relevant, making unfunny jokes and all in all just making the review as bad as it is.
Although I do think the first half of the review is, alright for the time I wrote the review in, it's hard for me to even think back on the review.
Honestly, I don't even agree with what I say about the pasta anymore, but the review is still up, and I'm not taking it down. I'm not proud of it, but it is a nice reminder, a reminder of "Do not suck this bad ever again!"
If you want to read the review, I don't know why you'd want to, but here you go: demo reel lost episode creepypasta review
1. My comment on what creepypasta should be (Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv)
I will never get over this one, I can't believe how stupid I was when I wrote this.
For those of you who aren't aware, in my original review of the creepypasta "Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv", I made this stupid comment: "Some of you may be saying that this wasn't supposed to be a story and just be informative like the news. Well a few problems with this being that as well, first off creepypastas aren't supposed to be informative, they are supposed to be stories."
I hang my head in shame that I used to think that, and I hang my head in shame again for the fact that I actually typed that.
I was kind of new to creepypasta still, I really only got into reviewing them because I wanted to share my thoughts on the creepypasta "Luna Game", so even then I had no right to say that. Even if I did, that comment is so stupid.
Really, there are other problems with the review, but this one just overshadows all of them, and the kicker, I was aware of how stupid this was before left a comment on the original review. Actually it was that comment that sparked the re-review of the creepypasta, where I also explained how stupid the comment I made was.
I'm not going to get over this one, this is something I legit, thought, wrote down and published as though it was a legitimate point against the creepypasta. Sweet Luna I was a moron, a dunce, an idiot, a whatever the Hell you want to call me for that comment.
But the important thing is that I fess up to my mistakes and try to improve, and over all I've seen some good improvement in my work, to the point where I can read some of my reviews without cringing. Again, if I make any more mistakes, feel free to bring them up and if there is enough, I may make another post about this. I thank you all for reading and understanding, I'm not perfect, but I try to improve, and isn't that all someone can ask of me?
Also, don't worry, next week will be a full review, I just wanted to get this off my mind.
Yes, this is you're spoiler warning for this review, and in case you want to read this one before I spoil it, I'm going to leave you the link here: [Link]
So, let's start with one major question, is having a twist or surprise ending a good or a bad idea? If you want my opinion, it really depends on what story you're writing. Typically, a good mystery story will have some surprise ending, but sometimes a story can feel like it hinges too much on the surprise ending.
Two of my favourite examples of a creepypasta with twist/surprise endings are "XoRax" and "Doors", but both hinged on their surprise ending in different ways. "XoRax" used its twist more in surprise, the idea that such an innocent part of a children's game can have such a horrific backstory, and "Doors" used it to emphasis the fear and, in some ways, the tragedy of the situation, wanting to help a family member, but being unable to.
In both of those cases, the surprise was used to make the story stronger, but I unfortunately do not think this is the case with "The Chandelier".
I'm not saying that the surprise ending in this story is bad, I mean when you have things like "Papercuts" to compare it to, absolutely everything about this creepypasta works, but I do think the surprise ending is, problematic.
The story begins with a narrator talking about a chandelier, a Baccarat chandelier to be exact. I do like this detail, as it helps the reader visualize the image, which can make the story hit harder.
While I'm on that subject, the writing in this creepypasta is really good. I can picture everything that is written in this, from the moonlight splitting into many shimmering stars, and even the dull and colourless rainbows laying on the walls. All the visual writing in this story is beautiful, even when it's not supposed to be.The writing in this creepypasta is pretty much on par with the animation in "The Backwater Gospel".
Even when the chandelier falls and kills two of the narrator's family members, the way the father is written to react, the way the narrator tells of their feelings, a part of it is so, depressing. The feeling of the loss of magic and wonder is powerful.
Then we get the surprise ending where, even though the narrator said the chandelier was rehanged, it turns out the father actually hung himself. Dun-Dun-Dun!
While I'm not saying the surprise comes out of nowhere entirely, god damn it feels like it. There are still some small details that point to this being the inevitable conclusion, but I don't feel like they foreshadowed the surprise properly. It's not like you can't do this without spoiling the ending, make a comment about how the narrator some how didn't feel lonely while underneath the chandelier.
The surprise ending is tragic, but I don't feel it was foreshadowed enough. Also, in reading the comments, I've heard that there might be a more subtle and darker piece of fridge horror (Seriously, can we get another name for this trope, it's getting silly), but I didn't notice it on any read through. I don't doubt it was intentional this time, but I can't really comment on something I didn't notice.
Honestly, I don't know what to think of this one, I love the writing, but I have problems with the surprise ending. To be honest though, I don't think the problems I have really kill this pasta, I mean, it was no "White with Red" or anything, so yeah, I do recommend it. There is a lot here that is worth reading, and if you like the surprise ending, I can't keep you from that, actually thinking about it, it kind of reminds me of the twist in The Usual Suspects, just a thought that crossed my mind.
Overall I give this a 7.5/10, I recommend it, but I myself am not a big fan.
If you have yet to read it, my previous review was on Clockwork: Your Time is Up
Or you can read my classic review of Doors
I know I ask people not to request me any of these really bad stories to review, but honestly, I kind of like to look at these because it let's me talk about what not to do when writing... anything much less a creepypasta.
Before I get into the review though, I want to take a minute and look at the tags this pasta is filed under on the Trollpasta Wiki: "Deletion Log Refugees", and I get the feeling I can stop there, but there are a few others including "Look at me! I'M SO EDGY", "MARY SUE ALERT!" (I have no clue why she is roaming around in creepypasta but I don't question alicorns), and "DIALOGUE!" which I would try to tear into shreds with this review, but uhh... this creepypasta is ungodly boring.
I have a serious question for this creepypasta, "Why should I care?", because that is a question I have for most stories, why should I care?
I cared in "Jeff the Killer" because I could relate to him, moving to a new neighborhood, not wanting to be embarrassed by his parents, bullies, I can relate to that so I care about his story. I cared in My "Sister Was Murdered..." because I found the concept and story to be interesting, which made me want to keep reading. Clockwork has neither of these factors, nor any other point of interest. It's not unlike Rainbow Factory that way, hmm... which one is worse?
I honestly don't even think this one is so bad that you keep reading it to see if it gets worse, and I know the reason why. The character has absolutely none. I'm not typically good at finding character, especially not in short stories, but there is character in the protagonist and antagonist. This story has about as much character as a two-dimensional, black and white line drawing of a Nazi.
I can't even give enough interest to do a "Five problems with" segment, but trust me, there are a lot of problems, so for this pasta, I'm going to talk about the rules it breaks, and rules other writers should avoid breaking.
Rule 1: This is an important rule, DON'T COP OUT!!
In this creepypasta, abuse and rape are both implied, but never stated, and as uncomfortable as it can be to write, this was the story you wanted to tell, you cannot cop out of writing this. Do I have to keep count of the creepypasta that try to cop out of writing disturbing shit, even though this was the story the writer wanted to tell?
Rule 2: There is something called nuance and depth, have it!
Okay, yes even creepypastas I like break this rule, but I hate it when the story has flat, abusive characters for no reason other than it's an easy character to write when you want to beat your character down and turn them into a psychopath.
Rule 3: Don't break my immersion!
The ending of this pasta does this badly.
Rule 4: Stay consistent!
This creepypasta jumps time a lot, this makes the story's progression confused. I don't think this would be the correct rule to use, but the way time moves in this story can be odd.
Rule 5: SPELLCHECK!
And those are just a few of them. I'd say this would be the "12 oz. Mouse" of creepypasta, but 12 oz. Mouse was intentional, and is still awful, but that is a review for my YT Channel.
I don't know how this character became popular in the fandom, but then again we do have a tendency for popularizing crap don't we? This isn't even a good creepypasta to read to learn about what not to do, if you want a creepypasta like that, honestly Fluttershy's Childhood, It Will Get Worse, Pokemon Blue, most of the other bad creepypastas I reviewed are good for that, this one isn't.
Really, this one has no real reason to even exist, it really does feel like something that a pre-teen would write while going through their "3edgy5you" phase. It's filled with bad writing mistakes, cops-out on a couple things that should have been VITAL to the story, is obnoxiously boring, has no charm, character, point of interest or anything worth looking at.
This "creepypasta", actually no I can't even call it a creepypasta is sarcasm, it gets a 0/10. "It Will Get Worse" is still the worst thing I've ever reviewed, but this is a close second.
Well, as usual if you wish to read my previous review, it was on I Got a Sister for my Seventh Birthday
Or you can read my classic review of It Will Get Worse
And if you want to read the original creepypasta, you can find it here: [Link]
So, for the most part of this story, I felt as though it was fairly obvious as to where it was going. You know these stories where, the parents bring home a younger sibling or a pet and they start destroying the house and the parents think it can't be them and SpongeBob did this story so poorly that it's one of the first episodes people think of when they think of "Bad SpongeBob".
So, what is the story? Well, that is pretty much it, this girl's parents bring home a little sister for her birthday and eventually she begins to do destructive things and the parents don't think it's the little one, and yeah you've heard this story a million times at this point.
So, I guess it's kind of weird to say that I kind of like this one.
Don't get me wrong, at first it really is a generic story like that, but then you get to the ending, which I won't spoil, but I will say it is both kind of foreshadowed and kind of out of left field. When I got to that part, I was dumbfounded, I couldn't really believe it, but then I began to think about it. It's a good twist when you think about that smaller details you wouldn't normally think about. It's kind of like a murder mystery riddle that way.
I do kind of like how the bad behaviour escalates, it starts off by shredding a book, and it becomes much worse as it goes on.
I think my biggest complaint is how the twist works within the rest of the story. I mean, I guess it could have been the little sister, or the daughter could be Tyler Durden.
There is not really a whole lot to say about this one because it is a creepypasta that revolves around how good the twist is, and I've learned that knowing the twist before-hand ruins it. Which is why Doors is not one of my favourite creepypastas.
Despite all of that, I thought this was alright. The twist really did surprise me, and the story progression was solid. Mostly though, it suffers from the rest of the story, you know how these stories work, I know how these stories work, and the only thing that really separates this from all the others is the twist.
Do I recommend it? Yeah, but I can't say it's one of my favourite creepypastas ever. Although, so far both of the creepypastas I've looked at on Reddit were pretty good so that is something positive I can say.
I give this a 6.5/10; and while I'm thinking about it, whenever I type or see "little sister" I can't help but think of Bioshock. I should write a review of that game.
Speaking of reviews, if you have yet to read my previous review it was of Scribblings in the Well
Or you can read my classic review of My Sister was Murdered, and She Won't Shut up About It
you read the story here: [Link]
- Listening to: Blow at High Dough by The Tragically Hip
Why is it that all of the fandoms I am a part of, very few of them are drama free? I mean, everybody has problems with the animation reviewing community, the drama with Toon is still hitting hard in the Brony fandom, the Steven Universe fandom is full of awful people, and the less said about what happened with creepypasta, the better.
No, I'm not in the best mindset to write a review, but I must press forth, I want to keep a quota of three reviews a month
I think the best place to start is to describe what this creepypasta is. It's kind of like Hitchhiker's Object, in that it feels like a knock-off of The Holders, except there is no physical item at them end, and this one is not terrible.
Have you ever seen those posts on social media where it's like a picture of different buttons or doors or pills or bottles or whatever and each one has a description of what choosing it would give you? This is kind of like that, except now it has a challenge factor of getting through two different kinds of rooms as though this was The White Chamber.
No, there is no Well in the story except briefly mentioned at the opening paragraph that these instructions were found at the bottom of a well. Question: Who was at the bottom of the well and decided to scribble the instructions to a ritual down there? How did that person get in the well in the first place? Where did the person get a writing utensil to scribble it on the wall of the well? Or did the person use a mixture of blood, tears and there own intestines? Considering what is described in this story, that wouldn't surprise me.
Essentially, these are the instructions to a ritual, and it describes two different ways to go once you begin. Please note, that if I put quotation marks around everything it's going to become hard to read fast.
If you go down the left, you essentially get a bunch of doors with a bunch of years on them, and you have to find the year that you found the most fortunate. To the people who created this ritual, I don't remember what music I listened to yesterday, so why would I be able to remember which year was the most fortunate for me? I guess I could cop out with the year I was born, or the year I began these reviews, but I would not describe either year as the most fortunate.
The description of the room on the right was actually disgusting, like I felt like throwing up while reading it. Cupcakes was also disgusting, but it wasn't this bad, although that point I would think would be a matter of opinion.
Honestly, even if the ritual was real, I probably wouldn't do it. I don't think the reward is worth the effort on either one, I would rather play the Midnight Game than do this ritual.
As a whole, this one was, meh. I think I may have expected something a bit different than this, but as a whole I think it's while not great, I do think it's readable.
I think it's worth a 5/10.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this review, if you have yet to read it, my previous review was of Fluttershy's Childhood
Or you can read my classic review of Hitchhiker's Object
Read the original creepypasta here: creepypasta.wikia.com/w…
If you don't know why, I should start by saying that, in truth I have no buisness talking about any of this, I am not a part of the Brony Analysis / Review group, nor am I even that big a name online, heck the information wasn't even supposed to be leaked. However, I want to highlight that what happened is not okay, and that this can effect everyone in the brony community.
For those unaware, I applaud you for staying out of drama for so long, but within the brony community, one of the more well-known members has been doing E.R.P. with an under-age girl, on top of all of that, many people have been coming out saying that he has been abusing them and manipulating them.
I was never a fan of his, I liked him for the community projects he took part in, but now, with all of this news, I'm sad, I'm really sad. This has been on my mind for a while now and I feel that, if I write a review in this state of mind, it's not going to be very good, and I mean, worse than my usual standards for bad, so I don't want to give you guys a sub-par review.
I can only say this now; to all that have been coming forward, thank you. You are bringing to light what a horrid person he was and sending a clear message. We are not going to tolerate this kind of behavior.
I will not let what he has done ruin my love for the community, nor the show, and I want to leave you with a video from
I'm the Entity of Darkness, next week will hopefully be a better time for everyone.
You know, there were some creepypastas that I had to go looking for, and only now am I using the Internet Wayback Machine. It’s a nifty little tool that allows you to look back on websites in their early days, and in my case, dig into the SpongeBob and MLP sections in the creepypasta wiki.
Ah, I remember the good old days, when I thought Squidward’s Suicide was legitimately good, when the scariest part about creepypasta was a bad photoshop job, and when Slimebeast was still Slimebeast. Lots has changed, hasn’t it?
Anyway, I’d like to bring this point up for context, Fluttershy is my second favourite of the mane six, Twilight being best pony, (FIGHT ME!), and I am probably the only brony ever, who never asked about her family life or foalhood. Partially because I was busy shipping her relentlessly with Rainbow Dash, Hashtag no regrets!
I think I should also mention that I’m looking at this page from 2013, way before Fluttershy’s parents and brother were introduced in the show canon. So, what did our brony edgelords come up with?
Garbage, that’s what!
Four paragraphs in and already I hated it, the first two paragraphs were there to introduce the show, which, believe me, even back in 2012 (The oldest year I looked at this page from) I did not need to be introduced to this show, it was one of the biggest internet phenomenons ever, and since the writer referenced both bronies and pegasisters, when most people would only know bronies, the writer should know this!
Now, the creepypasta is as typical as you would expect, it basically goes “Social anxiety and introvertness cannot be things in kids cartoons, so the character must have been abused.”
Occam’s Razor you know.
So… what now? Well, it’s time for:
FIVE PROBLEMS WITH FLUTTERSHY’S CHILDHOOD!
“Recently, I have managed to find a tape titled "Fluttershy's Childhood". This is not, however, a lost episode. It is merely a recount of Fluttershy's past. I will not show the tape as I have already disposed of it, and I will tell you all about it's contents.”
-Typical cliche, why does everyone have to get rid of the evidence? If you don’t want to explain why you don’t have the object anymore, than don’t make it a physical object.
“Fluttershy was born not in Ponyville, not in Cloudsdale as many people think, but in a town called Surtensia, far away from Ponyville and Cloudsdale where, if you weren't a pegasus, you were considered inferior to others. Even normal ponies were considered inferior..”
-Fluttershy grew up in a town full of prejudice eh? Did she also have an abusive parental figure?
Also, two periods for some reason, and a grammatical mistake. You can use a comma between “Others” and “Even”.
“Fluttershy had two older siblings, and her father and mother. Her mother was kind and decent, but her father, however, was abusive.”
-I WAS KIDDING!
Also, why bring up any siblings at all, when they AREN’T RELEVANT TO THE STORY?
Also, the word “however” is usually a substitute for the fanboys particle of “but”, which clearly you are not aware of! Two sentences and three problems, that’s…
An academy record!
“Two years later, when Fluttershy was 10, a terrible tragedy occurred. Her mother died, leaving her father to do whatever he wants to her whenever he can. So he did. Once, he did things so bad that I can't go into any detail; so horrible that Fluttershy ran away, running farther and farther away from her father, home, two siblings.”
-Oh, and two-dimensional abusive asshole, we’re going extra lazy aren’t we?
Also, how bad? We as readers can’t get a grasp of how terrible someone is by just saying “So horrible I can’t go into detail” because A) That’s a cop-out, B) it’s too vague to mean anything and C) it says nothing about what is actually happening, for all I know whomever wrote this is a total wuss who would have been shocked at Fluttershy having her mane pulled.
Also, YOU WANTED TO WRITE THIS AWFUL STORY, YOU CAN NOT COP-OUT ON ANY OF THE DETAILS!
“She stopped here, and lived only with a dozen animals, She was both physically and mentally scarred, but one day she decided to take care of the music for the Summer Sun Celebration. And this changed her life. She made friend with Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie and forgot all about her rough childhood. She now lives a happy life with her bunny Angel, her other animals and her friends.”
-Generic wrap up, bad grammar and sentencing, and general fan-fiction made to “edge” up something that never needed to be “edgy” in the first place.
This paragraph really manages to piss me off!
ALSO! Wasn’t she friends with Rainbow Dash is Cloudsdale? Even going off the assumption that she wasn’t born there, it was still shown that RD and Fluttershy had a friendship back when they were foals.
Whatever, I’m done.
This creepypasta, really what did anybody expect, this was probably the reason the CP Wiki no longer has an MLP section in their genre listings. The writing is bad, the story is generic and nothing about this really… seems correct.
I’m honestly glad the actual episode turned out the way it did, not because I don’t think that family abuse is something that can be tackled in a children's cartoon, but because of they did go down that route, it would be as black and white as a propaganda cartoon.
This creepypasta is one of the worst things I’ve reviewed associated with MLP, and considering I covered Rainbow Factory and Friendship is Witchcraft, that’s saying a lot.
I give this a 0/10, not even worth half a point, there is no reason to read this.
And that’s a shame because, I’d like to see more fandom stories before canonical information was released. Anyway, if you’re new or have yet to read it, my previous review was on Ghastly Macaroni
Or you can read my previous review of Cupcakes
Also, I think for this one I'm going to leave the link at the bottom if any of you want to read it: web.archive.org/web/2013051816…
Maybe this should have been my 100th review…
Anyway, to start off my year of reviews proper, I’m going to look at an infamous collection of really bad stories known as Ghastly Macaroni. For those who don’t know, Ghastly Macaroni is a bogleech site that is basically a bunch of horrible troll pasta, creepypasta that are so bad and ungodly that they have become legendary to many.
And while these stories are bad, I think a lot of them were actually meant to be. The oldest screengrab of the Bogleech page dates back to 2010, around the time when internet legends like creepypasta, and those annoying “repost this or X” comments were appearing left, right and center. These are meant to poke fun of those kinds of stories and posts, and I think it does a… meh, job at it.
My first problem is the writing, everything, and I mean everything is in all caps. The problem is that, all caps writing can become very hard to read. All the lines kind of blur together and it gets difficult to see clearly at points, and before any of you say anything, I’m nineteen.
Anyway, this is a collection of small stories and all of them are most likely purposefully awful.
The first of these is DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD, which I think has become one of the most recognizable. This story clearly wants to take the piss out of those stories that ended with “You’re next”. The story is literally, here is a horrible thing and the scariest part is IT WAS YOU!!!!! Dun-dun-dunnnnn!
The next story is THE GIANT GORILLA ON FIRE, and I got to admit, that is kind of a humorous title. My best guess would be that this one is in response to the creepypasta that tried to give morals at the end… I wasn’t a creepypasta reader back in 2010 so I’m unsure what the scene was like, so I’m really only guessing at this one, but I do know that there are some creepypasta that try, and often fail, at being aesops.
THE UGLYEST MONSTER is misspelled, it should be “Ugliest”, and this one, just kind of sucks. Actually it reminds of the Ugly Barnacle story from SpongeBob, just without the “Everyone died” bit.
ALL THE FIREFIGHTERS DISAPPEAR I think is twisting a disappearance kind of setting, where someone disappears and nobody ever seems to remember the ones that disappeared, like that episode of Gumball. It may also be a joke on twist ending creepypasta, as the story practically parades around the ending twist as though it’s clever, which honestly it kind of is.
Hey, I’m not crazy, my therapist says I’m not crazy. The fact that my therapist is a potato is irrelevant.
THE HEADLESS ALLIGATORS GOT EVERYONE is upfront, in that you can tell what it’s taking the piss out of from the opening sentence. There are always the stories of, “they never thought X existed, but then Y happened and it turned out X really does exist and killed everybody”. Sometimes I’m glad the Creepypasta Wiki has quality control.
BAD GUYS UNDERWATER is just stupid.
THE DEAD SKULL is taking the piss out of those stupid “I’m right behind” stories, and it’s also really stupid.
THE KILLER SPIKES is one of those annoying spam comments where “If you don’t repost this comment, something bad will happen”.
While I’m on the subject, why are those comments still a thing?
RAINING DEMONS and YOU WERE THE FROGS I feel are a bit superfluous if you read this bogleech site with the interpretation that these are all supposed to be awful.
WORST MOST BLOODY HORROR DAY IN THE WORLD is probably the worst of these stories. It’s the stupidest, makes the least sense and is just not funny. I don’t even know what to say without ruining the story.
DOUBLY HELL misspells Tarot Cards and Ouija Board, and that’s really all that’s worth talking about.
And finally there is 2 BEARS FOREVER, another one that takes the piss out of chain emails and spam comments. It’s mercifully short, and the final one of these stories, but it’s really sad to say that DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD, GIANT GORILLA ON FIRE and this are the best of them.
Spliced in between each story are images, kind of like NES Godzilla, except very few of these images actually connects with the stories. I really only counted two that did, but even then it’s hard to tell when you consider there is an image before and after each story.
I went into this with the interpretation that this was written to take the piss out of the creepypasta scene at the time, I have a feeling that was the intent, but I never leave out the possibility that I’m completely wrong. However, on the merits I provided is it worth reading?
Creepypasta has become a medium on it’s own, and like every medium, it has evolved. Film was originally just, moving pictures of everyday life, because at the time, people were blown away by a train coming towards them or people walking out of a door as this was a new technology. Then we got films like A Trip to the Moon in 1902, Battleship potemkin in 1925 and Metropolis in 1927. These films eventually lead to movies like Star Wars, Labyrinth, Fight CLub, Terminator 2, Jurassic Park, Back to the Future. Just like cinema, creepypasta has moved on from the basic beginnings and has since evolved into something that can be as influential in its field as a game like Bioshock or an animation like Steamboat Willie.
Since 2010, there have been many amazing creepypastas like Wanna see a magic trick?, The showers, The, Four Gems and a Crystal, Lost Episodes and more. We have people who love creepypasta creating their own characters and stories, because they were inspired. Creepypasta has evolved since the days of chain letters and ghost tales.
If I was reading this back in the day, I’d probably be laughing myself to death, but now, with having read over one-hundred creepypastas, and a good chunk of them being amazing as creepypasta and stories on their own, I can’t recommend this by the standards of creepypasta today.
I think I can recommend this in a similar way I recommend people read Squidward’s Suicide, as something historical, and not much else.
I give it a 3.5/10, No, I wasn’t scared.
I remember when I was scared of Sonic.EXE, ah, the good old days of shitty creepypasta.
If you have yet to read it, my previous post was The Top 10 Worst Creepypasta Titles, and yeah, I still think my number one pick is worse.
Let’s see what the year has in store for us, shall we?
- Watching: Jim Sterling
So, I have been reviewing creepypasta all the way back in 2014, that feels like such a long time ago. Anyway, overtime I have made many observations about creepypasta, Number 1: the creepypasta that we all began with, the “Squidward’s Suicide”s and the “Herobrine”s and the like, are all kind of crap. Number 2: There are some creepypasta that need a lot more attention, and Number 3: There are way too many creepypasta with awful titles.
I know this seems kind of, well stupid, to talk about creepypasta titles, but here is the thing. A title is more important to a creepypasta than an episode of a tv show. This is because, most creepypastas you have to find on some kind of wiki, I know there are actual creepypasta websites, but creepypasta wikis are usually easier to work with and the first things that pop up anyway. Even then, most of these sites don’t really give a description about what the creepypasta is about, which allows for more links on the page, but in some cases is kind of like buying a video game or movie out of a catalogue. Even then, a catalogue at least gives you a description.
A creepypasta with a bad title, or a generic one, or a bland one, or a misleading one, is less likely to attract a reader when they don’t know what the actual story is about. So, I guess the other question is, why am I not doing this for “good creepypasta” only? Well, because that is a little unfair, I don’t want to make it seem like this is only an issue with good creepypasta or that it’s not worth talking about with the bad creepypasta, because really neither is true. At the end of the day, a creepypasta of any quality can have a generally unappealing title, or a misleading one, or even a downright confusing one.
So yes, my first post of this year is officially, the top ten worst creepypasta titles, for creepypasta I reviewed between 2014 to 2017. Hey, I have to cut this off somewhere or else we’d have at least, three-hundred candidates and, I’m not going through that much, besides, if this goes over well I might do another one in the future.
Kicking off this list is a title where the problems are really nitpicky, but that still counts for this list. It is a typical thing to name a video game creepypasta after the game it is about, especially if the game was fabricated like with “Killswitch”. However, here is my question, what did a killswitch actually have to do with the game in the first place?
Think back to literally any game you played and the title it had, what did the title have to do with the game itself? Portal? Metal Gear? Pac-Man? Noughts and Crosses? Tag? I think the only game I can think of where the title had little to actually do with the game itself is Bioshock, and even then that is debatable.
For those of you who don’t know, a killswitch is a special switch or button that is made to, in the case of an emergency, shut down an entire system. A killswitch is made to be quick, simple and obvious. Surprisingly little of any of that has to do with the game described. Some people may say that “it’s supposed to be a reference to the game shutting itself off and deleting itself” to which I defer you to the “Quick, simple and obvious” part, which kind of nulls the idea of the game itself being a killswitch.
If you have browsed around the creepypasta wiki as much as I have than you have come across your fair share of non-descript, kind of boring titles. “Caribou”, how exciting. I’m about to read a story that features a cloven-hoofed, Arctic cervidae. Yes, a Caribou does feature in the story, but it’s not even the main focus, kind of, maybe. I don’t know, it’s kind of the focus, kind of not, whatever, what matters is, the title sucks, but the creepypasta itself is actually pretty good.
I wonder if all the non-descript titles all have to be one word. Doors is a worse offender than Caribou by far though, not because Caribou is more fun to say than Doors, which it actually is, but that is not really important (Caribou). No, the reason Doors is the worst offender of the two is that the creepypasta doesn’t even focus on Doors that much. All that really matters when to comes to actual doors in the pasta is that the narrator can’t open doors.
Now, this creepypasta actually has a twist, which might excuse the bad title. However, here is a counter, why couldn’t the pasta just be called “I Could not Open the Door”? It’s also vague enough not to spoil the pasta, it is also a sucky title, but at least it offers more of an explanation to what is in the pasta. When I hear the word “Doors”, I think of Jim Morrison.
You know, “The Holders” is not a very interesting title. However, The Holders can get away with not having a great title because that is the name of the series. Most titles are kind of bad when you just say the series’ title, like why would I want to go read “Harry Potter” when I can instead read “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”?
I feel as though that is what the title for Hitchhiker’s Object wanted to be, the main title to a series like The Holders, the problem is that, if you were to make this a series, the whole “Hitchhiker’s Object” part of the title would either be unnecessary and useless to add, or annoying and tedious to read. We have The Holders, a series of creepypastas with titles that are what object the story is about. Hitchhiker’s Object I feel wants to be like that, but it’s too vague to really mean anything, I mean, a hitchhiker’s object could literally be anything, a diamond, the last copy of El Apostol, my desire to watch any cartoons for girls after Littlest Pet Shop, anything; and it’s not like they symbolize anything special like The Holders do. Go read The Holders.
How many of you would guess that this is a Futurama creepypasta?
Title alone, it’s way too vague and meaningless to be of any importance, even to the main story. What does the prospect of time have to do with anything in this creepypasta? Did Fry not suffer long enough? Well, it can’t be because at the end the other characters say he got what he deserved, so it’s clearly not that.
I feel like this would have been a better title for a Red Dwarf creepypasta, or a Doctor Who creepypasta, or a creepypasta written by someone who actually knew what they were doing. At least in those situations, the title would make a bit more sense.
Even though I love this creepypasta, I was in for a huge surprise when I figured out that this wasn’t a Steven Universe creepypasta. Of course, I doubt anybody could actually blame me for thinking it to be a Steven Universe creepypasta since its title could literally be a reference to the four gems, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Rose Quartz, and maybe some kind of being just named Crystal or something. I also fail to see how gems or crystals actually matter in the story being told, as at no point do any kind of crystalline stones prominently feature in the story. It’s like calling Jeff the Killer, Bleach and Vodka, or calling Sonic.EXE, Ao Oni, you should name your pasta, or story of any kind, after something prominent in your story. Where even are the four gems? I’m starting to think the writer gave it that title to attract the Steven Universe crowd.
4. Ghost Story
Behold, the literal, most generic and bland title I have ever seen.
While the creepypasta is not bad, and does do something different from most of the ghost stories I’ve read, the title is about as dull as it gets. You can literally see everything wrong with the title just by looking at it. It’s like calling a song “Drinking Song” or calling a cartoon “Funny Cartoon Show”, it’s mindbogglingly generic and makes your product even easier to forget among the other ghost stories.
I full on just dislike this title, I know it’s a common thing to have pasta titles be the titles of videos or games, but this is the worst title to any of that I’ve ever seen. “Spongecry” is a file name I’d give to a soundbite, not a video clip, and even if I were to give it to a video clip, it would actually be of SpongeBob crying and not, whatever the Hell happened in the pasta. The naming of some of these pastas is just odd to me, like what about this video gives it the title “Spongecry”? Wouldn’t it be like if “Squidward’s Suicide” was instead titled “SquidAlone”?
Also, I can’t be the only one to think this sounds suspiciously similar to Suicidemouse.AVI, just a thought.
Even years after first reviewing this, that title still pisses me off. “Missing” implies that they were lost and not cut, which clearly is not the case, they were not lost, Hell they weren’t even essential to the film, but I’ve ranted on that previously in both my actual review and my re-review (Which is linked). Also, this thought just crossed my mind, but the title also implies that these were also scenes from the book, but even if they were in the book, they wouldn’t be creepy they’d be out of place, S.E. Hinton did not need to shock when writing The Outsiders, the story was strong enough on its own. This title and pasta find new ways to irk me sometimes.
How do you even pronounce this? “Me-tie-doh-tee-walker”? “Me-tie-dohf-tie-walker”? Whatever, I’ll just call it what it is, stupid. Which is fitting because that is how I’d sum up the pasta as well. The title, on top of making little to no sense also gives me absolutely no indication of what kind of creepypasta this is, who would ever guess that “ME TIE DOUGH-TY WALKER” is actual gobble-de-gook nonsense in the story? For I know this could be a creepypasta about some guy with the last name Walker who is trying to get help because his tie is evil and it’s gonna kill him. In fact, judging from the title, you could very well assume this is a troll pasta, and if any creepypasta, that isn’t a troll pasta, gives you the impression that it is a troll pasta, than I think it’s safe to say that ME TIE DOUGH-TY WALKER, has the worst creepypasta title of all time.
Wait, what do you mean there are worse titles out there? ...Next week? I...sure, why not…
In the meantime, here are a few honourable mentions:
The Showers - Gives you no indication about what the pasta is actually about
The Dead Son - Generic and Bland
My Sister was Murdered, And She Won’t Shut Up About It - Too damn long
Red with White / White with Red - Easy to mix these two up
Avatar: Nightmares and Daydreams - Already the name of the episode
Bound to Death - Not sure if generically edgy, or just bad pun
South Park, Colorado - This is the title to a theory pasta, if you got that from a location, I applaud you
Pokemon Strangled Red - Oddly enough, the pasta itself explains why this title sucks
Red Dwarf IX - THERE WAS A NINTH SERIES OF RED DWARF, STOP SAYING THERE WASN’T!